Happy New Year's wishes to you all from DoRide Social Research Labs.
The numbers from our model release studies, 2009, are in. They indicate a disturbingly low emotional success rate for models released back into the wild after their time here. Our staff believes that this is probably due to the high level of pampering they receive while here and the artificial conditions of their environment.
So our "resolution" this year is to take a bit of a firmer approach. It is not easy to resist these cute creatures, to resist the urge to over-indulge them. But you have to remember that the bad habits they learn here could prove disastrous to them in the real world - where men, shiny presents, and entertainment will all be in much less supply as well as being hoarded by sleek, tough women of the wild. Their shifts, which may seem long to them, are nothing compared to how long a love starved man will pleasure them in the real world. Their quiet rooms are nothing like the TV blaring, kid populated, war zones they will have to operate in in the near future.
That is why every third private of all my future privates will be a Private of the 100 Trials, designed to test the survival skills of the model. And why the models of my dojo will have to test their strength against all the rival dojos.
Good luck in the new year. Good hunting.